A big problem is brewing and no one seems to see it

Photo by René Ranisch on Unsplash

I’m blessed with two children, an 11-year-old daughter and a 22-year-old son. This gives me an interesting perspective on a few things. Having kids can do that to you, after all.

This hit me when I came across a pair of articles that really didn’t have much to do with one another, but suggest there’s a huge problem on the horizon.

First, let’s look at this from Fox News, where a mother laments some of the issues at college with regard to Title IX and rape accusations.

If my two sons were starting college this Fall I would tell them this: be doubly sure you get consent — for her sake and yours. Maybe even record that consent (how romantic!). Your education and future may depend on it.

Under Biden’s proposed Title IX rules, if a college student is accused of sexual assault or harassment, he will no longer have the right to a live hearing, to cross-examine his accuser and witnesses, or to be represented by an attorney. Instead, a school administrator can decide to forgo a hearing and weigh the "credibility" of each party on his own, acting as investigator, judge, and jury in the case.

The standard for determining guilt will also be weakened from "clear and convincing" to a "preponderance of the evidence" — in other words, that there’s a 50.1 percent or greater chance an assault occurred. Not great odds in what are often "he said, she said" cases.

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College students — mainly young men — should be worried. Biden’s Title IX changes are a reversal of rules implemented by the Trump administration in 2020, and a return to the "believe all women" attitude laid out in the Obama administration’s 2011 "Dear Colleague" letter.

This suggests a fraught landscape for young men, many of whom might just decide not to risk it.

As it is, our educational system actually favors women in many ways.

The primary, middle, and high school classrooms are constructed in a way that actually favors the way girls typically learn as opposed to how boys do. As a result, girls tend to get better grades and a leg up on getting into college.

Further, as a protected class, even before the recent Supreme Court ruling, women had a bit of an edge at being accepted to college under affirmative action guidelines, though race did tend to play a larger factor.

Now you’re favoring women’s position in a “he said/she said” environment of sexual assault allegation, even when there’s no other evidence. I say this because I’ve covered these stories off and on for years now. That’s how it happens in a surprising number of cases.

It’s a situation where young men are disfavored and operating at a disadvantage from day one, then it gets worse from there.

Schools often have all kinds of support services for female students on top of the support services open to all students. Guys, however, get no such help.

With all that in mind, it’s not surprising that women graduate college at a much higher rate than men.

That brings me to the next article I mentioned, this one from The Free Press about how a lot of guys in their 20s are dropping out of the dating scene.

What does this have to do with guys going to college?

Well, you tell me.

But part of it also boils down to this: it’s hard for men to find partners at a moment when women are outpacing them both at school and work. Young women now hold 1.6 million more college degrees than men, and in a growing number of cities, including Los Angeles, Washington D.C., and New York, they make as much as—or more than—their male counterparts. And even if they become mothers, odds are four in ten will become the breadwinners of their households. 

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I found Jammall on the online Reddit community r/TrueUnpopularOpinion, where men often vent about the dating scene. On another subreddit, r/PurplePillDebate, male commenters bemoan that they’re held to the “666 rule,” which mandates they be six feet tall, make six figures, and have six inches—or more—downstairs. (Jammall describes himself as a “straitlaced guy” who is 5-feet-5-inches tall.)

The men I spoke with—ranging from ages 17 to 33 and living in rural New Jersey to Austin, Texas—said they felt overlooked in a competitive dating market, where women often list salary requirements and height preferences on their profiles. 

So what you end up with is a large group of eligible men who can’t get romantic partners because they don’t meet these odd criteria—criteria that don’t actually determine if you’re boyfriend material or not—and if you don’t, you get shut down.

The reason for at least some of this is that the women in question are often college graduates who simply don’t want to be the breadwinners in the family. They expect to find a man who meets all their criteria.

What’s more, at least some of these women actually think they’re laying out the groundwork for an average guy. They’ve got their perspectives kind of skewed.

So if you have a lot of guys that just drop out of the dating pool, which is what The Free Press story is really about, and a bunch of women who are holding out for superficial qualities of perfection, when do people create families?

And understand, I’ve seen this dating issue play out with my son. He’s smart, funny, and caring. He’s going to make a great father…if he gets the opportunity, anyway.

Don’t get me wrong, there’s more to the problems than just guys not getting college degrees like they used to. I’d read all of both articles if I were you.

Still, there’s a problem brewing that gives me a very uneasy feeling. Disaffected young men are the ones who tend to do very bad things, for example. It’s bad enough when a guy is someone who just makes bad decisions. It’s another when the culture seems to be stacked against them, giving them a legitimate reason to be upset.

And no one seems to care.

Men aren’t graduating college at a similar rate to women? Well, who cares? At least women aren’t being kept out of education.

Men can’t find romantic partners and instead, turn to online porn? Well, who cares? At least women are empowered enough to be picky.

I’m not saying we should dictate anything to do with people’s personal choices, but we could at least start to realize that young men are in crisis mode and that we might want to do something about that before we have real problems.

Then we have the potential decrease in the population as fewer and fewer families are starting and I just don’t see good things happening going forward.

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